Honoured Guest

A week in to my bachelor status and things are falling in to a routine. You’ll all be glad to know that I’m not wasting away here on my own. Arabs are renown for the hospitality shown to guests and this has been liberally applied. I’ve noticed that many people from the east know how to honour their guests and it reminds me of Michael Palin’s comments after returning back to Blightly after his 80 days around the world trip that people were less gracious and caring in the UK more than anywhere else (or words to that effect).

A conversation in a Middle Eastern/Sub Continental/African/Central Asian/Far Eastern household between a guest and host might go something like this:

Host: Would you like something to drink?
Guest: No thank you, I’m fine.
Host: Really, tell me its no trouble, I insist?
Guest: No honestly its fine, I’m OK.
Host: Well how about some water then, at least that?
Guest: No need really.
Host: Please you would insult me otherwise?
[And so on for about five minutes until…]
Guest: Some water will be great, but only if its no trouble, thank you.
[Host goes to kitchen and wheels out a five course meal made up of the freshly sacrificed goats, exotic specialities and the best food in the house, including jelly.]

A similar scenario in the UK might be slightly shorter:

Host: Would you like some tea?
Guest: No thank you.
Host: OK [and goes to make himself a cup and drinks in front of guest]

I do of course exaggerate slightly, there have been plenty of times I’ve not even been offered tea! The honouring of the guest or traveller is greatly praised in many cultures, and the Islamic tradition is no exception to this as can be seen from the following translation of a verse from Quran and narration.

Allah says, "Has the story reached you of the honoured guests of Ibrahim? When they entered his dwelling and said, 'Peace! 'He said, 'Peace! O people unknown to us.' So he slipped off to his household and brought a fattened calf. He offered it to them. He exclaimed, 'Do you not then eat?'" (51:24-27)

Abu Hurayra reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Anyone who believes in Allah and the Last Day should honour his guest. Anyone who believes in Allah and the Last Day, should maintain ties of kinship. Anyone who believes in Allah and the Last Day, should speak well or be silent." [Agreed upon]

Anyway this tradition is keeping me well looked after although on the converse side there are etiquettes of being a good guest and not being a burden to ones hosts. At the moment I don’t think I’m near that threshold but I would like to buy a present for them to show gratitude – any ideas anyone?

Back to being a bachelor - sort of

So Dahab was cool. I can fully recommend it for a week break or so. Get a decent hotel near the Corniche, not one these mega chain ones, and just kick back. The original chilled out feel has still been preserved quite well with the activity bits tagged on, like camel riding in the desert, horse riding on the beach, quad biking, wind surfing (kite surfing as well), kayaking, and of course snorkelling and scuba diving. Not a Pharonic temple in sight or over-zealous sales people! Might have to go back one of these days. Of course it helps if you can negotiate big discounts on almost everything.

Mrs C went back to UK to start revising for her finals last week. I’ll be staying on for another month – shorter than I wanted but apparently I’m needed back in the office. As planned I’ve vacated our over priced flat and gone back to living like a bachelor, sharing digs with a student from Al-Azhar university. The good thing is that my flat mate, although from South Africa, speaks fluent Arabic and the place is cheap and functional. Unfortunately it is slightly far from the network of people I’ve got to know over the last couple of months and a bit sparse. He has just gone on a three day trip with some of his uni mates so tis a bit lonely here on my own for a few days (except for the ants to keep me company).

Ustad Ahmed’s wife has taken pity on my bachelor status and although I insisted I knew how to cook and could at least pick up a phone and order a pizza or kushary (yum) if I needed, she gave me enough home-cooked food to last the week! This also included a massive tray of jelly which resulted from a passing remark I made about not being able to get halal jelly in the UK! Well at least I won’t starve – and my pots and pans remain unpacked.

The by product of their genorisity, as Ustad Ahmed sees it, is that I now have more time to study and revise. Given the short space of time I have left, Ustad Ahmed is keen on packing in as much as he can and the lessons are becoming more and more intense. I know I won’t be able to remember a lot of it but at least I will be able to revise when I get back and have my notes – I hope. We’ve started tajweed and I’rab of the Quran now. Sometimes my head hurts from all this and I had call in to cancel a couple of Diwan classes – but I’ve promised myself that I will never do a ten-hour day of pure grammar – it will just drive me insane.

On the plus side I met up with another student from Al Azhar university today. I first met him a week or so after we arrived and he mentioned that my Arabic had very much improved since that first meeting. He’s offered to show me around some of the sights of Islamic Cairo which are not necessarily on the tourist trail – I think I’ll take him up on that.

And finally, I came across this on the net. Some of it is starting to ring true…

You Know You've Lived in the Middle East Too Long When ...

• You're not surprised to see a goat in the passenger seat
• You think the uncut version of "Little House on the Prairie" is provocative
• You expect the confirmation on your airline ticket to read "insha'allah"
• You don't expect to eat dinner before 10:30 p.m.
• You need a sweater when it's 80 degrees outside
• Your idea of housework is leaving a list for the maid
• You believe that speed limits are only advisory
• You have no problem with tractors driving 40kph on the highway
• You know whether or not you are within missile range of Iraq
• You get excited and spread the news when "Oreo" cookies show up at the grocery store
• You fully expect to go to jail when a local national hits the back of your car at a stop sign
• You know which end of a shawarma to unwrap first
• You think that the further you inch into the middle of an intersection, the faster the light will turn green
• You consider it normal for the same section of the road to be dug up three times by contractors in the space of a few weeks
• You understand that the true definition of a nanosecond is the time interval between the light turning green and the guy behind you honking his horn
• You think that all gas stations are made of marble
• You can receive every TV station crystal clear except the local one
• You get used to using the cold water tap to get hot water during the summer
• You make left turns from the far right lane without a second thought
• You expect gold for every birthday
• You think Pepsi begins with a "B"
• You think that a box of kleenex belongs on every dinner table
• You think water only comes in bottles
• You understand that when someone says "Bukra (tomorrow), Insha'Allah" to you it really means "Sometime during this calendar year"...if you're lucky!
  You start writing from the right side of the page.